Eternal Happiness
by anilih
Summary: Eternal Happiness, an illness when you cannot handle shock or a life-changing event. You would forever trapped in your own thoughts, own world, I know all of this because this was the price I paid for...Eternal Happiness - Mikan Sakura...Sadness/Tragic
1. Eternal Happiness

Okay, I have decided to write a one-shot on Natsume and Mikan and having some sadness in this story, I tried to write something that could make you guys cry and all, like when I read you guys' story I have this feeling in my heart and throat and then my tears start to well up and stuff. But when I read this I didn't get this feeling at all, I don't know if it's because I was the one who wrote it or something, so I was wondering if you guys felt it. Hope you will enjoy this no matter how bad it is...Review!

_**I do not own Gakuen Alice!**_

So here it goes!...

Introducing... _Eternal Happiness!_

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><p>I still don't understand how things turned out the way they did. That unfaithful encounter that occurred and changed the fate of my life forever. I still don't understand how, after all these years, fate finally decides he's leaving me.<p>

When I first met him, he was the arrogant jerk who loved to tease me. He was the jerk that had me stay up all night, thinking of ways to get back at him. He was that stupid jerk who took my first kiss. The jerk who I hated, the jerk who I started to care for, the jerk who I grew to love. We went to the same High school, ended up in the same class, and as partners even. The whole student body envied our relationship. I had always thought he never really liked me, but it turned out it was the complete opposite. I found out he was interested. Interested on how I was the only girl who could still resist him after so long, the only girl who wasn't afraid of him. When he asked me about it, I had told him I couldn't stay away from him because of his eyes. He was confused at first, it was the first time I saw him like that which I found amusing and cute.

I said I could see the loneliness in him, he doesn't like the way he is, but he couldn't help it. He wants to protect everyone and make friends but thinks it's better if he doesn't and should just stay away. There was so much more I could've said but couldn't when he cut me off with the most surprising question. He asked me out. To a date. I didn't know how to react or what to say, so he pulled me against him and planted a kiss on my lips. It was a simple kiss. It was gentle and soft... fulled with admiration and love. That was until he started to dig his hands into waist to deepen the kiss which then turned out to a complete make-out session. When we finally managed to part from each others lips. He looked at my blushing face before pecking my lips again and said he'll pick me up at 7.

That was the start of our love story.

We dated for a few more years and soon we were out into the world looking for jobs and a place to belong. I opened up my own bakery _'My Sweet Crimson-Boy', _which Natsume often visited a lot and it was apparently not the cakes he was craving...

Natsume inherited his family's company - Hyuuga corporations. We planned on getting married in 3 months. In Oct. It was the month we meet each other and we thought it should be the month we decided to be together forever too. We've been together in more then one ways already. But in the end I didn't know what it was that we had. Love? It felt like it. But love is only a four letter word that can easily be torn apart with one blow. Even if what I had with Natsume was love, fate never said it'll last forever. Who ever said, things couldn't change?

It was only a month before our wedding. I was beyond happy. But this was for a different reason. A child was proof of something that was going to be apart of both me and Natsume's love. I was already two months pregnant and I was ecstatic to tell Natsume the reason I left so abruptly during lunch yesterday. Natsume and I would finally have the family we both wanted, we both needed.

But the moment I got to the apartment we share, the feeling of coldness was already seeking through the creaks of the front door. It was worst when I got inside. The air was almost suffocating. I couldn't shed of the darkness that was seeping into my body. I immediately wrapped my arms around my stomach.

It felt so long ago, yet it only felt like yesterday.

The apartment was filled with a dark aura. Natsume was sitting in front of the TV, unblinkingly as I walked through the door. That wasn't the only thing I noticed. Natsume's once beautiful crimson eyes, the same eyes I fell in love with at first sight was shining not with love and care but complete with hatred and betrayal. I asked him what was wrong. And his voice, his velvet voice that always held a gentle tone to it froze my blood in seconds.

I don't know what had happened.

I just knew that this may be the last time I ever knew what love might be.

"Natsume?"

"Hn?"

"Are you okay?"

His eyes that was transfixed on the TV turned towards me, "Fine" before he turned back to the TV.

"Well, I have some good news to tell you"

"Hn"

"Natsume, Well... Natsume I'm pregnant"

His head snapped towards me so fast, I flinched back a step. His eyes flared up with fire.

"Congratulations"

"Wh-What?"_  
><em>

"By the way, the movers are going to be here in about 5 minutes so invite that bastard of yours up here if you want."

Thinking about it now, I realized just how naive I was to think love could actually existed for as long as forever.

Natsume stood up and turned the TV off, "Keep the apartment, it'll be your congratulation gift for me. I hope you won't be disturbing me for money after this."

"W-What are you talking a-about Natsume? This is our apartment! What do you mean you're moving?! You're going to leav-!"

"Yes! I'm going to fucking leave! What the hell did you take me for?"

"N-Natsum-"

"No, you do not get to humiliate me like that and then think that I will pay for your goddamn dirty child and for your fucking bastard! Isn't this apartment enough already!?"

"Natsume! I have not one clue what you're talking abou-"

A packet of photos flew across the coffee table. It was me. In a hotel. Naked. I wasn't the only one. The photo was clear, taken through the hotel window. I couldn't help the cry that escaped my lips, the photo even had my birthmark. This was what Natsume said he knew I did. No, thought I did. But the time taken... I was with Dr Serena. I went over to him and reached for his hands. He shook it off.

"Natsume, this isn't me!"

"Surprised?"

"N-No! Please Natsume! This isn't-"

"..isn't how it looks? Tch, I've hear that so many times I think it's about time to change excuses"

No! Please Nats-"

"And to think that you were different Mikan. Special even. To think that you were the one who loved me, only for me! After all that time and effort I wasted on an idiot like you?! Why did you do it? Why couldn't you have just taken me and have enough?! Am I not enough?! How cheap could you get?! You dirty piece of shit!" Tears had started to slip down his eyes and he was so out of breath.

"Please! Listen to me!"

"I don't think there is a need to, bitch! In fact your worst then one, your a lying bloody fucked up slutty Bitch! I thought you loved me!"

"I do! Natsume! I do!"

"Yeah, and I can't believe I was stupid enough to fall for your goddamn tricks! You're just like all the others. Did you ever loved me? Liked me? Or was it just power and money and status?"

He didn't need an answer before he picked up his luggage bags and headed out the doorway. "N-Natsume please, I love y-you! So much, I can't be without you! Please, what about the baby?! Natsume!"

"Tch, I rather die tomorrow then touch you again. You and that devil inside you. Know you limits, no one wants a used up hag that only knows how to lie and beg."

I gabbed onto his arm, just hoping for my touch to get through to him like so many other times. "Please..."

It was a minute later before I registered what had happened.

His nails dug hard into my right cheek. The impact enough to cause my balance to distraught and sending me tumbling down. Hard. Into the corner of our dining room table. It was the first furniture we bought together so that our family can sit around it and have dinner. I guess it would also be the furniture to break up apart too.

I could feel my stomach do a flip under my palms. The pain was quick to stab through my body...What happened? I don't know. I did know that I dropped down to my knees not long after. The pain overwhelming my stomach, my head, my legs, everywhere. And the more horrifying part was he just stood there, watching me with those endless crimson droplets, watching me suffer, as I screeched with mercy. It burned my stomach. I begged for his help, I begged for anybody's help. Maybe he was right, maybe I only knew how to beg. He turned his back, opened the door and walked away. The whole world stopped turning then and only black remained.

_What happened...?_

**~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~- _Eternal Happiness -~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~_**

I woke up a few days later. I saw blank walls and ceilings. I couldn't move my body very well. _What happened?.._. I wondered about that question ever since, everything just happened so fast. We were only 26. We were still young. So could so much have happened? The doctor told me the child couldn't make it. The dead fetus grew infected in me, and now, I there was never a chance for me to carry a child ever again.

I didn't feel sad though. I didn't know why either. The only view I payed attention to, was the view outside my window, to the garden where kids play. The breeze always blowing slightly in my face. My friends visited me, but I never paid any attention to them, there was no point...I was lost, lost in my own little world. Always questioning. Always wondering what happened. What could've happened. The doctor had tried everything. But there just wasn't any energy left in my anymore. They had me diagnosed. I had a rare illness. Not contagious, not harmful to my physical body. Just mentally. _*Eternal Happiness._ There was nothing that could be done. My friends stopped visiting after that, and I was left alone again. I was never allowed outside of the room either. It didn't matter. I completely forgot about the outside world. I didn't really care either. And because of that, I realized I had spent my whole life in that small blank room. It felt like I was left there, forever. Completely forgotten. Just like my love.

It was spring again. The kids had just finished packing up their playing equipment. The door crept opened, the doctor most likely doing another weekly checkup. I didn't move. Never moving, never talking. Just staring out the window, at the blossoming red flowers. After a few more minutes, the door creaked again, but this time it was closing. When it did, I turned around and caught a glimpse of raven. Raven hair. I still remember loud and clear the sound of the door closing that day. That day he left. People always leave. Nothing is forever. It's imprisoned in my mind. What did I do to deserve this?... What happened? He promised to this happy memory of us, promised he would make the memories worth while. We could've had a beautiful life together, but because of that...I knew we could never have done it. Things would never be the same. No, not again. I haven't seen him since. Maybe I did love him. But... I can see we were not meant to be. I knew it wouldn't be easy to forget him either. So, I ask to whoever is reading this, If you've ever seen this person or knows where he is now, please. Ask if he is doing well. Ask if he has found that special someone yet. If he is living his life without regrets. Is he happy with a family now?... Please, I beg you. If you find him, tell him no matter what, that I still love him and I want him to live his life with happy memories, with a loving family. I beg you, it is the only thing left I can do. But as for me,

I don't mind being forgotten. I'll just live my life, having this _unfinished memory..._

-Mikan Sakura, Age 83

Love meant to be does not always equal to a happy ending...

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><p><em><strong>*<strong>_**Meaning of **_**Eternal Happiness***_

_Eternal Happiness is a rare illness you get when, you cannot handle shock or a life-changing event. It is said you would be forever trapped in your own thoughts, own world. You would never know how much time had passed or how much time is left. You wouldn't notice the changes or people around you. You would only play and replay the events that caused you to become like this, always thinking of ways to change it. Wishing it had changed. This illness allows you to imagine what could've happened instead. A happy ending. It gives you hope and happiness and love, but... in return for this eternal happiness, the life you had before would be forgotten. There will be no harsh reality for you to live in. It will be peaceful but like most peaceful things, it does not last long before the darkness seeps back in. Death.  
><em>

_So whatever you do, live life to the fullest, enjoy every minute, forgive easily, don't give up what you love, fight for it. Don't ever fall into this dark curse..._

_Because, will you be willing to pay the price for,  
><em>

_Eternal Happiness...?_

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><p>Hope you enjoyed it! I got this idea when I was watching <em>'vampire princess'<em>, where she drinks their blood and in return they will receive eternal happiness. Just a little fan fic, I felt like writing. Hope you liked it, please review! Oh, and by the way, the illness is not real, just to clear things. I made it all up about the meaning. Please review!


	2. Eternal Regrets

**Hey guys so the moment you've all been waiting for! The sequel to Eternal Happiness!**

**I'm so excited! You have literally no idea how many of you had requested for it and have it in Natsume's point of view! And now…. HERE IT IS!**

**I do not own Gakuen Alice! **

**_Enjoy~_**

**_Eternal Regrets_**

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><p>Mikan.<p>

That was the name that echoed through my head for the last two decades. That was the name that echoed through the streets everyday.

The woman with the rare illness. The woman who needed a medical miracle.

The woman who was once mine.

I never understood why she did what she did. I never understood why she couldn't be satisfied with just me, why she needed more attention than she already had.

I knew she was beautiful. She always had been ever since we were little. I knew I would have to conquer many other men before I could make her mine. I loved her and she loved me. That was all that ever mattered at that time. We were happy together.

And then I took over the Hyuuga Corporations.

I noticed the changes in her almost immediately. She was wearing more makeup then usual, her hair was always done, and she was always well dressed. I never had any doubts about her at all. We were going to get married soon, of course she would want to look her best, even I wanted to always look my best for her.

But then the photos came.

I knew it couldn't be her. She would never do something like that to me. But then I saw it; I saw the heart shaped birthmark just above her right ribcage as she straddled that man. And after that I saw nothing else but red.

_Why?_

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><p>She sat there, just staring out the window. Her dull hair flowed softly from the breeze. She looked happy. I wonder if she is. The cries of the children from the garden droned out the silent echoes of the room. I didn't know what to say. She had changed so much from the past few weeks. Her eyes, her once brightly lit hazel brown eyes, stared lifelessly out the window. She's lost so much weight. Her cheekbones prodded against her slim face, her collarbones peeked form under her cotton shirt. She still looked breathtakingly beautiful in that blank room. She always had been. I took her hand in mine and brought it up to my cheeks. It was then that I realized against her cold hand that warm tears were running down my face. I never wanted it to be like this. I wanted her to be happy. I wanted her to be by my side.<p>

I let the silent tears fall. I let the pained sobs out. One more. Just one more time, I want Mikan to look at me just one more time with those same bright eyes and that same big smile. Anything to take away the pained and full of grief look she gave me as I stared down at her that night. Anything to take away those horrible images from my mind as she lay there helpless, begging. But there were none.

I stared at the woman in front of me. The once perfect woman who I singlehandedly destroyed in one night. The air had turned suffocating as the next sob got caught at my throat. I swallowed harshly, hoping the lump would go away. I swallowed again as I chocked back another sob. I needed to get out.

I walked through the door once more, the image of her staring at me as I left her on the ground helplessly resurfaced. I hope she never ever had to watch me walk away from her again. Because this time, this time I promised myself will be the last because I will never ever leave her side anymore. I want her to be happy.

"I love you so much Mikan"

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><p>"Mikan it's time for your bath"<p>

I gently took her into my arms before carrying her to the bathroom. The last three years we have spent it like this. I quit my position to CEO of Hyuuga Corporations and gave it up to Ruka. I knew the company would be in good hands. I devoted all my time to spending it with Mikan and taking care of her. I read her all her favorite books; I told her all about the latest news, I took her to family functions, trips, and vacations. She was my wife. I just needed her to be beside me, although there were times when I'd hoped for things to be the same, for her to look at me, talk back to me, to kiss me once again but I knew I had no right. I deserved all of this.

I carefully pressed the cloth against the skin of her left arm, wiping down gently. I traced her birthmark just under her left ribcage. Yes, this heart-shaped birthmark that started it all. I always claimed to know Mikan more than she knew herself and it was that, that became my first mistake. This one little mistake that I missed out while looking through the photos, this one little important detail that managed to cause everything that was once perfect to become broken. The birthmark was so carefully and so precisely added into the photos under her right rib cage.

It was entirely my fault.

"I'm so sorry Mikan"

But I knew she would never forgive me. I knew she would forever hate me. Probably wishing for my downfall forever, and I accept it. I deserved it more than anyone else.

My second mistake was killing my own child. The child who I claimed will always be loved and protected whenever I could, how ironic it was that it was myself that hurt them... that killed them.

My third mistake was meeting Mikan. If I never met her, if she never met me, if our paths never crossed, then maybe just maybe she wouldn't have to go through all that pain, all that sorrow. Maybe she would've been happy. She'd most likely have a family by now; no man could ever resist her. Maybe she'd also have a child by now. What would their names be? Would they look like her or her husband? It hurts to even think that, that man might not have been me. But it hurts even more knowing that it was me who ruined anything that might have possibly been a happily ever after.

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><p>Time went by quickly. Days turned into weeks, weeks turned into months, months turned into years, years turned into forever. It's been forever and yet I can't help but continue to think, what if none of that happened. What if I trusted Mikan? Would we still be together? Or would fate eventually break us apart?<p>

It didn't matter anymore, because we were together again. She was here beside me, and I am here beside her. And it is a beautiful sight as our crowd of family and friends in their black and white clothes leave us alone once again just as the rain begins to fall and the air is quiet.

But I'm not at all worried because Mikan and I will get to see them carrying beautiful white lilies again for us next year.

_Here lies our beloved Mikan Hyuuga, Aged 83 and Natsume Hyuuga, Aged 84_

_Together and happy  
><em>

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><p><strong>This ending had always been at the back of my mind for Natsume to regret his decisions but in the end I felt like these two still deserved something of a happily ever after. They were destined to be.<strong>

**xx A**


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